Mid-Life, Mindfulness and Mocha Monkey Ice Cream
Peek inside the ladies locker room at any gym and you will likely hear some conversations that will have your head nodding with lots of “yes’s”, “me too”, and how did you get it/him/her to do this or that? For some reason this milieu breaks down the barriers of age or income among women.
On Sunday while I was gathering my gear to leave the gym, a woman abruptly stopped drying her hair, curiously looked at me and said, “have you ever noticed that when you’re husband is out of town how your eating changes?” Wow! … this lady asked the right person since as a dietitian I find anything to do with food and eating of interest plus my husband and I have had several extended work-related separations over our 29 years of marriage.
After this woman posed her query to me, another gym-mate Donna, chimed in and said “yes, don’t you find that when you are alone you eat so much less?” I don’t know about you, but I do eat different when my husband is out -of-town, but would I say I eat less?
Isn’t it amazing how our environment affects our eating. Everything from room lightning to whether we are in the company of others or partaking in a singular dinner, can influence the foods we select, the portion we take and how quickly we devour our choices. Solo dining comes with its own perils. Eating in front of the TV or computer, or eating directly out of the food container/bag are somehow sanctioned with the thought “I’m by myself, why bother to do anything special?”
Women in mid-life are especially plagued by this thought since we are pulled in so many directions. The thought of having an evening without your significant other and/or the kids and the last thing on our minds is to prepare a 5 course (or even a 3 course) sit down dinner for ourselves. Yet, what if you gave yourself permission to treat yourself to something “special” to eat that night? I don’t mean Ben & Jerry’s Mocha Monkey. Special for you may be food that you don’t buy often due to price; due to other family members dislikes; seasonal available foods; and yes, food that may take some extra focus to prepare.
In my quest to develop a “portfolio of extreme self-care personal practices” for women in menopause, I have accumulated a huge section under nutrition (of course I would). Besides the usual of drinking more water, less processed foods, and more veggies, I have a sub-section entitled “mindful eating.” I was introduced to the concept of mindful eating in 2005 while developing a 12-week weight management program. I wondered if the participants would like this topic and was surprised to hear the comments when I presented it.
Several of the ladies told me that they tried the “homework” exercise and realized they were eating their meal so quickly they really didn’t taste it at all. One of them said her husband was glad they did it together since they could both benefit from slowing down their NASCAR-speed like style of eating (almost a race to see who could finish first). Another told me that she didn’t feel like eating as much when she slowed down her eating. This translated into total less calories for the day without feelings of hunger at her heels during the night.
Mindful eating also includes other aspects such as, considering where the food came from; the “carbon footprint” that it took to get this food to the supermarket; the workers who “picked” the food for your table; and acknowledging gratitude for the food.
Getting back to the question posed by the my gym-mate, do I eat less when my husband is gone? My husband’s last adventure took him to Alaska for 2 weeks and my clothes were no looser and I felt no lighter, when he returned than the day he left. I continued to prepare my favorite dishes, in smaller portions; treated myself to those healthy, exotic-type salads at Whole Foods (beyond my weekly food budget when I’m feeding two people but also less waste that buying a head of lettuce and all the extras) and tried a few new gluten-free frozen dishes.
There were several “payoffs” for continuing to eat healthy while solo-dining . First, I looked forward to trying new foods and having them in my “Rolodex for last minute meal ideas.” Second, the scale didn’t go up! Yes, I didn’t fall into the “sit in front of the TV with a container of Haagen Dazs mode” of telling myself “why should I bother, it’s just me to make dinner for.”
The bigger question I would ask is “if you can’t carve out a few minutes to make a healthy meal for yourself, what other self-care rituals have you said “why bother” to? Treating yourself to a special food or meal when you are a solo-diner is a healthy part of an “extreme self-care portfolio.” If you would like to hear more about how to develop your own self-care portfolio, contact me so we can start a conversation.
So tell me, does your eating change when you are a “solo-diner?”
In health & happiness,
